Learning to go with the flow

'Going with the flow' has never been one of my strengths. As I've got older, that talent got even smaller. I like control, I like set timings and I like knowing what's going on.

There's plenty of times where that's an asset. I'm on time for things, I don't miss meetings and appointments and I usually get things done.

However, it can become incredibly restrictive and put a huge amount of pressure both on myself and on those I'm spending my time with.

I'd insist on knowing the exact schedule of a day and then a tiny shift in those plans (whether or not it was controllable or not) would send me into a panic or get me very frustrated.


It's something I've wanted to change for a long time, and recently I've found it's sort of happening by accident. I guess it must be related to me feeling less anxious overall and feeling less uptight about everything.

I'm more comfortable arriving on time, or five minutes early. I'm more confident that I can time a journey properly.

I've also more consciously tried to not let a change in plans completely throw my entire day, or even week (which is where I was sometimes at). I try to quickly get back on top of things and reassess where I'm at and if and how that will affect other things I've got going on.


In the moment, if I do start to flap, I've really found deep breathing helps. There was a time when someone suggesting that to me would make me roll my eyes as it sounds too simple. In fact, it's actually pretty hard to do when panic escalates.

I've spent the last year or so really focusing on meditation and yoga, which has strengthened my ability to then use that deep breathing in the moments I need it. It takes practice, but it's a skill worth developing.


I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I'm realising how unhealthy it is to feel the need to have absolute control over everything in my days and weeks. At the end of the day, life is unpredictable and people are, too.

Plans shifting is a fact of life, and so I've needed to learn to cope with that.


Don't get me wrong, I still prefer a plan and I'll never lose my need for a plan completely, but then thing I CAN work on is the way I react if things do shift.

It's a work in progress, but I'm starting to notice a real difference.




Sophie x

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