It's a numbers game - mental health update

I recently shared that I was seeking more help for my mental health, for the next stage in my recovery. If you want the background it's here, but today I want to talk about another stage in the journey.

Last week, I had a call from the local mental health service, to assess exactly what support I needed. In case you're interested, it will be another round of intensive CBT for a period of 12 to 20 sessions. I had been waiting 6 weeks for that assessment call and the wait is predicted to be around 4 months until the sessions begin.


All this got me thinking about the reality of the waiting game that is waiting for help with your mental health. I'm incredibly fortunate to have always been in a position where I'm surrounded by support from friends and family, and the help I HAVE had from GPs and therapists has, for the most part, been outstanding.

However, we hear all the time how under-resourced our mental health services are, and I thought that today I'd give a bit of a breakdown of some of the numbers that outline my journey over the past few years.


It's a bit of a different style of post for me, but I thought it could be interesting for those who haven't had to go through these processes to see the waiting game that can make up a large part of the process of getting help with your mental health.

My numbers are specific to me, and I've read about plenty of people who have had both far longer and far shorter waits than me. These are just some of MY numbers.



5 years - since the time my anxiety first became a big player in my day to day life, to the point that I needed professional help

4.5 years - since the dentist trip that began my issues with food, which I'm still working on and trying to find the answers to today

4 days - the amount of time I spent in bed when my anxiety first hit hard, thinking I had a stomach bug due to the physical effects

5 - the number of GPs I've seen along the journey - 3 of whom went above and beyond

4 - the number of different counsellors I've seen, a mixture of both NHS and private. I credit one of those with beginning to really turn my life around

12 - the number of CBT sessions I had with an amazing NHS counsellor in London

6 months - the amount of time I moved back home for, after leaving London, for family time, yoga, dentist trips and a lot of self care and recovery time



20 months - since the 'rock bottom' that signalled my decision to completely change things, rather than continuing to put a sticking plaster over my issues

1 year - since the day I realised my health anxiety no longer sent me into a state of absolute panic at the mere mention of somebody else feeling ill

8 months - since moving out of my parents' house again and starting my next chapter in a beautiful new home

32 - the number of new foods I've managed to try in the past year, after ruthlessly cutting things out of my diet for fear they would make me ill - none made me ill, and I really enjoyed 31 out of the 32!

3 - the number of times I've gone to see a doctor on my own since moving here, every single one without having a panic attack



Every day is a new day and a new chance for progress. I've learned that support is all around me, whether from the medical profession or the world around me.

The waiting is difficult, but I've slowly built up a tool kit of things that continue to help me every single day when it comes to looking after my mental health.

I'm learning to lean on other people when I need them, and to accept help rather than keeping everything in.

I'm learning to cope with stressful situations without automatically assuming I'll never be able to get through them because of anxiety and depression.

Every day is another step out of the dark periods and towards a healthier future.

I have my harder days, but the person I am today couldn't be more different to the way I was five years ago, or three, or even one year ago.




Sophie x



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