Hello, December

Hello, December.

You’ve raced towards us, this year.

I always look forward to December.

I’m a summer girl through and through, but December holds a special place.

It’s so Christmassy. Bright. Festive. Busy. Full of family. Full of friends. Full of excitement.

I get an overwhelming mixture of emotions in December.

I had a couple of strange ones.

In one, I was home after my first term of university, where I wasn’t happy. That December/ January, my sister was really poorly. I didn’t like that year.

In another, I felt nauseous. A lot. I was convinced I had some kind of bug, but couldn’t figure it out. Chewing gum (the minty taste) kept me going through social outings. That was third year of uni. A couple of months later, it became clear that had been the first signs of my anxiety taking hold.

In another December, I was struggling, probably at one of the worst parts of my panicking. I had to leave the room during a family gathering. I ate next to nothing of Christmas Dinner. The period prompted my first trip to the doctor about my anxiety, with my mum in the January.

Last year, December was a funny one. I had come so far, but my previous years of December memories had ended up being so fixated on my not being well. The period held a funny mixture of pride at how far I’d come, and sadness at the time I’d been struggling.

And excitement, because I was to start a new job in January.

And this year?

I’m another year on from those Decembers that were my worst.

A lot has changed this year.

I’ve moved to London, and pretty much every aspect of my life has changed.

What hasn’t changed?

I love Christmas.

And I absolutely love my family to pieces.

Which is why I’m so excited that December means home time. It means family time. It means food. It means gift-giving. It means lazy days. It means Christmas spirit.

I can’t wait.