What Sophie Said

On this day thirty years ago my parents said ‘I do’. My mum looked beautiful. Dad had a dodgy moustache and wasn’t sure the correct way to kneel down during the marriage ceremony. Thirty years on, they’re celebrating their love on an incredible trip around Sri Lanka. They’re in love, and they’re the best of friends. I have so much admiration for the two people I call Mum and Dad, and their relationship is just one of the things I have been so lucky to grow up around. They laugh. They bicker. They support. They mess about. They make plans. They go on adventures. They go on dates. They have ‘couple friends’ and their own friends. They both run their own companies and support each other relentlessly through the ups and downs that come with that. They taught my sister and me so much of what we know. They put us through fantastic schools and helped us continue on to our universities. They help us when we need advice, or are struggling.  Th...

Recently, it was the anniversary of a particular event, or series of events, that happened at a time when I was probably struggling the very most with my anxiety. What the event was doesn’t matter, nor do the specific ins and outs of what happened, but what I wanted to try and put into words was how these dates felt, this year. Firstly, I felt sad. I felt sad that what should have been a really happy occasion and memory is tainted by the way my anxiety made me feel. It completely took over the event, leaving me crying in my room, and escaping for long walks with my dad. Secondly, the emotions and feelings came flooding back. I sat in my room remembering the events. The transportation there and back made me feel trapped like I would never be able to get out. And every minute felt like hours. I was convinced everyone was watching me, noticing what a nervous wreck I was, noticing me trying to slow down my breathing and stop my whole body tensing and shaking. I was c...