What Sophie Said

Hello, July. I’m really, really glad to see you. You’ve always been my favourite month, my birthday month, my happy month. June was really hard. In June I hit a brick wall when it came to my anxiety and depression and I had to press reset. I spent two weeks sleeping, reading, learning. I returned to work. I’m building up my food intake. I’m building healthy habits. I’m learning to cope. But it’s been a hard, hard month. There have been achievements during it and I’ve learned an awful lot, but I’m ready for the fresh feel of a new month. I’ve come out of June with a new outlook. Rather than masking my problems and pretending I’m fine, I need to tackle them properly. Fully. For good. Take on those deep-rooted issues I’ve spent three years just masking and ‘getting on with’. It’s been hard, and there’s a long road ahead, but long term these changes will make a huge difference to my health and my happiness. So, July. I’m glad to see you....

Hello, February. You've waited patiently; January seemed to last forever. There's a quote on Instagram at the moment which says '2016 starts on 1st Feb. January was a free trial month'. This made me laugh, and part of me agrees, but then I realised the miserable month of January was quite a positive one. I've overhauled my eating habits and am getting more healthy. I've started exercising daily before work. I had the most wonderful weekend away. I went to two brilliant theatre productions. It could have been a lot worse, let's put it that way. February, I love the fact you start on a Monday. There's something so neat about a new week and a new month coinciding, it's always a favourite day of mine. I feel like this is the month to try and learn to like pancakes. The month to continue eating better, and working on my fitness. We're moving towards Spring, and the lighter hours are making a huge difference to my mood. I've g...

Just a quick post today, but one to say: I think I've cracked it. The whole 'being healthy' thing. As in, I've not changed my life, but the willpower and motivation I've been lacking have made an appearance. For a while now, the last 6 to 12 months in particular, I've not been feeling great. I've defaulted to foods I know aren't good for me, my only exercise has been walking to and from the tube, and I wasn't really doing anything about it. But I was sad about it. I was complaining about it. Maybe internally, but I knew I wasn't happy. I felt lethargic, heavy, unfit. My clothes all felt just a tiny bit too tight. But in the last couple of weeks, something has clicked, Rather than moaning and making half-hearted attempts to change, I've committed. I know changing my bad habits will take time, but the willpower is there. Something inside me has said 'enough is enough'. Last week, I was turning down cake, biscuits...

Hello, August. I feel like you’re going to be a great month this year. I’m moving to London. I’m starting my new job. That’s two pretty huge things. Exciting things. I’ll be making new plans, new memories, settling into new routines. Meeting new people, taking on new responsibilities, learning new things. Exploring new places, visiting new attractions, taking in new sights. Visiting old friends, meeting new ones. Finding my feet in the Big City. Swapping hourly trains for tubes travelling minutes apart. Swapping a quiet town for a bustling city. August, I’m excited.

I was in the strangest of moods last night. I had excess energy in my body that I could almost feel waiting in my limbs. Like a physical presence, making me feel like I needed to do something big to get it out. I felt on high alert, or on edge, or like I was waiting for something, when nothing was about to come. It’s a feeling I’ve not felt in a pretty long time, months and months in fact. And I wanted to write it down as a reminder of progression, of moving forward, and of changing. Because that feeling was a part of me almost 24 hours a day about 2 years ago. I’ve mentioned my anxiety on here before, but only a mention, as I didn’t (and still don’t) feel in a position where I’m ready to talk about the whole thing. I’m still here only talking about moments. But let me return to last night. It was a mixed-up bundle of feelings. I’m in a state of limbo. There is so much uncertainty, but it is leading to so much excitement. I’m looking for a job. I’m looking ...

‘You’re so brave’ 'Now's the time to do it!' ‘That’s so exciting’ ‘Do you know what you’re going to do?’ These four phrases have been repeated at me on a loop for the past few weeks.  I guess you could say I’ve made a couple of ‘BIG DECISIONS’. I’ve left my job, and I’m moving to London.  I don’t know where I’ll live yet. And I don’t have a job yet. Those things are TBC. They’re works in progress. Determining their answers is the purpose of the next couple of weeks. I’ve never really put myself in a position before where I don’t know precisely what is coming next. I take a lot of comfort from having plans, from having dates in the diary and concrete goals I know I can achieve. I didn’t take a gap year. I’ve not been travelling. I feel like I’ve always followed a very safe route, and done what I expected myself to do. But recently I’ve realised those goals were goals I created a few years ago, and actually those goals have changed.  M...

For me, September has always felt like more of a ‘New Year’ than January, probably because of the way the academic years were arranged at school and university. So with that in mind, tomorrow is day number one of a new year. I’m in a very, very different place to where I was this time last year. I’m not going to ramble on, but I want to highlight a couple of things so I can look back at it this time next year. I’m returning to this lovely little blog space, having fallen out of love with it for a while when my head was feeling muddled by a lot of things. I’m making a lot of plans work-wise, looking ahead and pushing myself. I’m finally learning to drive, and with my theory done I just need to get the practical test out of the way. I’m no longer in the relationship I was in this time last year. It had lasted for five and a half years, but you’re a very different person when you’re 16 compared to when you’re 22, and for this place I’m in now, certain things wer...

Well, Monday, here we are again. The start of a working week, the first early morning after the weekend... Mondays have a bad reputation. But recently I've warmed to them. Because yes, we have to get up early and go to work, but it also feels like a weekly opportunity to have a bit of a 'fresh start'. We're all guilty of putting good intentions on the back burner, or saying we'll start tomorrow, next week, next month, next year... I'm trying to view Mondays as a brand new little opportunity every week. Every week I want to think of one new thing to implement, whether it's to do more exercise, ring one friend for a catchup, or spend longer reading a book. By introducing little habits in isolation, but often, I'm hoping I will be able to stick to a wider range than failing with those ridiculously long lists of things we 'SHOULD' do on January 1st. So there we have it: every Monday is now an opportunity. Every Monday is another little ...

The first few days of a new year allow time to reflect on the year that has just gone by, and 2013 was certainly a busy one for me. It can be useful to look back at what you’ve achieved in that chunk of time, to put everything in perspective and be proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished. A huge moment of 2013, for me, was graduating from the University of York. After three years of ups and downs, and a lot of hard work, I got the 2:1 I had been aiming for, and could celebrate with my friends the fact that we had done it: we had our degrees. A few months later, in September, I began my role as marketing executive at my dad’s market research company, where I am preparing to study for my Professional Certificate in Marketing. I feel so fortunate to be in a position where I am in the industry I want to be in, making valuable connections, and earning a real salary so soon after finishing university. With the end of university came the sad day that Andy and...