What Sophie Said

A few days ago (on 10 th July), it was exactly two years since the day of my graduation ceremony. I studied English Literature at the University of York. My Instagram and Twitter feeds at the moment are covered with proud pictures of new graduates, the latest group of people who have succeeded, and completed the next stage in their education. It’s got me thinking back over that period, and over the three years which led up to that day, for me. It’s a funny old thing, graduation. There’s pride: you did it! There’s excitement: many people see it as an important life stage. Plus you get a cap and gown. There’s love: people are there with family and loved ones, and surrounded by their course mates. And then these feelings are all mixed in with uncertainty. How did I manage that? What next? Where now? I have to LEAVE this place and these people? For many that choose to go to university, it’s the next stage in a mapped-out process...

On 7 th July, I turned 23, and after an amazing week of enjoying my birthday, I’m feeling somewhat reflective.  I’m planning, I’m thinking, I’m sorting through my thoughts.  And whilst I process these thoughts, for today, here’s a list of some of the 23 ‘life lessons’ I feel I’ve learned over the last 23 years. 1. Real friendships take work, and effort to maintain. 2. Don’t be afraid to drift away from friendships that leave you feeling drained, or tired, or not valued. 3. You won’t always understand every decision those around you make… But if you care about them, support them. 4. Some people will have very different views to you on a whole range of things, and that’s ok. 5. The path that’s right for one person isn’t necessarily right for you. 6. It’s ok not to have absolutely everything figured out. Most people don’t. 7. Work hard. It will pay off in the end. 8. Making mistakes is fine, as long as you learn from them. 9. Alone ...

It’s been a while, but this title can mean only one thing: it’s book time again. Here’s the latest wonderfully random selection I’ve been getting through… The Snow Child, Eowyn Ivey In 1920s Alaska , Jack and Mabel are looking for a new start, but still haunted by the baby they lost ten years before. When a little girl appears on their land, they begin to question who she is, and whether they have room in their hearts to form new relationships. This is a beautiful novel that reads like a fairytale. The concept of grief was explored in a very sensitive fashion, and I enjoyed being left with such an ambiguous ending. I Am Pilgrim, Terry Hayes This is an epic. There’s a murder in a Manhattan hotel. There’s a beheading in Saudi Arabia . And the list goes on, with one figure seeming to link them all. Pilgrim is an intriguing character – you know both so much and so little about him. It’s a complex novel, with a lot of threads, and therefore takes so...

Today is Father’s Day, and I’m lucky enough to have a dad who I’m incredibly close to and has taught me an awful lot over the past 22 years! Here’s a round-up of the top five: 1. Friends are important. My dad is probably one of the most sociable people I’ve ever come across, and it’s definitely from him that I’ve learned to give everyone time, and really get to know them. He has so many close friends, some from school, from university, from various jobs, from playing sports… He’s always busy, always socialising, and having such a wide group of friends allows him to enjoy all the different things he loves, with great groups of people. 2. Listening has its place. Fitting in neatly with the friendship theme, my dad often finds himself in a bit of an ‘agony uncle’ position. There’s something about his open nature that lets people know they can trust him, and over the years friends have spoken to him for hours on end about all sorts of things, be it their health, family lives...

I was in the strangest of moods last night. I had excess energy in my body that I could almost feel waiting in my limbs. Like a physical presence, making me feel like I needed to do something big to get it out. I felt on high alert, or on edge, or like I was waiting for something, when nothing was about to come. It’s a feeling I’ve not felt in a pretty long time, months and months in fact. And I wanted to write it down as a reminder of progression, of moving forward, and of changing. Because that feeling was a part of me almost 24 hours a day about 2 years ago. I’ve mentioned my anxiety on here before, but only a mention, as I didn’t (and still don’t) feel in a position where I’m ready to talk about the whole thing. I’m still here only talking about moments. But let me return to last night. It was a mixed-up bundle of feelings. I’m in a state of limbo. There is so much uncertainty, but it is leading to so much excitement. I’m looking for a job. I’m looking ...

‘You’re so brave’ 'Now's the time to do it!' ‘That’s so exciting’ ‘Do you know what you’re going to do?’ These four phrases have been repeated at me on a loop for the past few weeks.  I guess you could say I’ve made a couple of ‘BIG DECISIONS’. I’ve left my job, and I’m moving to London.  I don’t know where I’ll live yet. And I don’t have a job yet. Those things are TBC. They’re works in progress. Determining their answers is the purpose of the next couple of weeks. I’ve never really put myself in a position before where I don’t know precisely what is coming next. I take a lot of comfort from having plans, from having dates in the diary and concrete goals I know I can achieve. I didn’t take a gap year. I’ve not been travelling. I feel like I’ve always followed a very safe route, and done what I expected myself to do. But recently I’ve realised those goals were goals I created a few years ago, and actually those goals have changed.  M...

I’ve always been afraid of change. Maybe fear isn’t the right way to describe it, but I’ve been resistant to change. Reluctant to upset the balance of things. Nervous to veer away from what’s comfortable, what’s familiar, what’s secure. But things have been changing. They’ve been changing pretty rapidly and I think I’m learning to go along with it. In the space of a few months, I’ve started a new job and moved house – just a couple of tiny changes there! And I’ve been allowing myself to be a bit picky, and choose to spend time with and talk to the people who matter most. And do the things I really enjoy, not just the things expected of me, because they’re ‘what I’ve always done’. Will I ever be the most impulsive person in the world, or not be a stickler for planning, or throw all caution to the wind and be completely reckless? No. But what I will do is say ‘yes’. Yes to exploring. Yes to adventuring. Yes to wondering, and to wandering. ...